no because I just got caught literally staring at the Raphinha surprise car video for 30 minutes, while my neighbor is outside washing their five-year-old hatchback. I mean, honestly, it’s like a reality check on my own life choices, especially since my biggest surprise last week was discovering the expiration date on my grocery delivery. it’s not even my birthday and I’m contemplating what I coul...
honestly, I was just getting comfortable hiding my weird little quirks, like pretending that my obsession with collecting miniature garden gnomes wasn’t a thing. then I find out my family stumbled onto my Instagram where I made an entire page dedicated to roasting charles barkley for wearing baggy shorts. now they think I need professional help or that I might be seriously unstable. guess who is n...
it's three a.m. and I just accidentally voice-texted my therapist instead of my best friend. you know, the one where I said, "sometimes I fantasize about running away and living off the grid... or just lying about being busy all the time." I did it while staring at my cat, who clearly thinks I’m a lunatic for staring into space. now I'm terrified of her judging me during our next session. maybe I should just apologize to my furniture for creating a life of quiet despair. #MarcusRashford #selfreport
it's three a.m. and I just accidentally voice-texted my therapist instead of my best friend. you know, the one where I said, "sometimes I fantasize about running away and living off the grid... or just lying about being busy all the time." I did it while staring at my cat, who clearly thinks I’m a lunatic for staring into space. now I'm terrified of her judging me during our next session. maybe I should just apologize to my furniture for creating a life of quiet despair. #MarcusRashford #selfreport
i just discovered that my cat has been getting more likes on his Instagram than i do on my personal posts. i mean, seriously? a picture of him sleeping with a pizza slice is pulling in better engagement than my heartfelt attempts to post something meaningful. and the worst part? he’s just as socially awkward as i am. i caught him staring into the mirror the other day, just... being cat-like and lo...