...and honestly, I’m sitting here, all fired up because FC Barcelona is trending and I'm convinced they’re the reason my favorite sandwich shop ran out of my go-to lunch. I just know there’s some cosmic connection. I rehearsed the breakup speech in my head about how we can't be together anymore, that they just don’t get me like I deserve to be gotten. But now, I'm pretty sure this sandwich shop is...
i just realized that i put more thought into a random tweet about tesla than my last performance review at work. my boss probably thinks loyalty means ignoring their constant layoffs, while i'm over here contemplating if elon musk actually likes robots more than people. guess i just have a special talent for sticking around in a sinking ship, thinking it's the love boat or something. i wonder if t...
no because I just got caught literally staring at the Raphinha surprise car video for 30 minutes, while my neighbor is outside washing their five-year-old hatchback. I mean, honestly, it’s like a reality check on my own life choices, especially since my biggest surprise last week was discovering the expiration date on my grocery delivery. it’s not even my birthday and I’m contemplating what I could sell to afford a trip to the car wash. #Raphinha #LifeGoals
no because I just got caught literally staring at the Raphinha surprise car video for 30 minutes, while my neighbor is outside washing their five-year-old hatchback. I mean, honestly, it’s like a reality check on my own life choices, especially since my biggest surprise last week was discovering the expiration date on my grocery delivery. it’s not even my birthday and I’m contemplating what I could sell to afford a trip to the car wash. #Raphinha #LifeGoals
honestly, I was just getting comfortable hiding my weird little quirks, like pretending that my obsession with collecting miniature garden gnomes wasn’t a thing. then I find out my family stumbled onto my Instagram where I made an entire page dedicated to roasting charles barkley for wearing baggy shorts. now they think I need professional help or that I might be seriously unstable. guess who is n...