i was searching for how to wash a banana the other day, and my neighbor just walked in and saw it—then we both pretended like it didn't happen. now i can’t look him in the eye without picturing him judging me over the unpeeled fruit hygiene questions. what if he starts a petition for banana cleanliness awareness in the building? is that even a thing?
just bought a ridiculously expensive candle that promises to smell like 'a cozy library on a rainy day' - it’s incredible, by the way. anyway, the moment my credit card bill came, I realized that was actually a 'cozy library on a rainy day with a side of crippling anxiety.' I mean, why does treating yourself feel like taking out a loan for your feelings? my emotional wellbeing is one scent away fr...
the way that i was going to finally tell my coworker i liked them and then saw they were a fan of the "i've had it" podcast. instead of being charming, i just overthought it into a whole thesis about how “dark woke” sounds like the slogan for my last breakup. now it's too late, and i’m still alone at my desk scrolling through the episode list like i could just *manifest* a new romantic life. #JenniferWelch #notthatdeep
the way that i was going to finally tell my coworker i liked them and then saw they were a fan of the "i've had it" podcast. instead of being charming, i just overthought it into a whole thesis about how “dark woke” sounds like the slogan for my last breakup. now it's too late, and i’m still alone at my desk scrolling through the episode list like i could just *manifest* a new romantic life. #JenniferWelch #notthatdeep
yooo, I just practiced my reaction to getting the promotion that LITERALLY never even came up in conversation, while imagining my boss breaking the news over our team meeting Zoom call. I swear, I nailed the "genuine surprise" face, but instead of feeling accomplished, I panicked and almost threw up thinking about Jennifer Welch and her 'dark woke' take on everything. now I’m sitting here like, if...