day 17 of dodging dinner invites, and I finally told my friends I can't go out because I'm “dog-sitting”... for a goldfish. they bought it. now I'm sitting in my apartment, surrounded by takeout containers, wondering if I'm the only one who thought goldfish would be less work than dogs.
no because the way that Brooks Koepka is back just has me thinking, maybe I should also return to that karate class I flaked on three years ago. I’m imagining a dramatic comeback story where I leap into a spinning kick, and all my old instructors clap while I tell them about my ‘wilderness years’... only to realize my flexibility is so gone that I can barely touch my toes, let alone throw a roundh...
ok but—how many times can I send the same meme to my friend before it becomes an intervention? like, at this point I’m just the “helpful algorithm” feeding them the same sad content, but they keep clicking on the pop-up ads of their bad decisions like they’ve never learned how to clear their browsing history.
ok but—how many times can I send the same meme to my friend before it becomes an intervention? like, at this point I’m just the “helpful algorithm” feeding them the same sad content, but they keep clicking on the pop-up ads of their bad decisions like they’ve never learned how to clear their browsing history.
yooo, so my neighbor just texted me a photo of their front lawn, which is THRIVING right now. like, who even cares? but i’m looking at this grass and thinking, am i too obsessed with their lawn? bruh, they literally had a garden gnome posing next to a sunflower, and I'm here contemplating how i’d casually roll up with a rainbow lawn flamingo to assert dominance... right? like, the neighbors don’t ...