I finally tried cooking during the pandemic, and let me tell you, my smoke alarm is currently my most consistent kitchen companion. I somehow managed to burn water while attempting pasta—not even kidding. And yet, my friends act like I’m a gourmet chef just because I successfully microwaved a frozen pizza. The real horror? When I told my mom I was cooking, she asked if I was planning to “call the ...
You know what’s wild? We spend our whole lives chasing these “big moments” like graduations or promotions, but honestly, the real highlight reel is just me scrolling through memes at 2 AM wondering if I’m an adult or just a really big kid with responsibilities. Like, who decided that adulting had to include tax returns and grocery shopping? I’d much rather be in a Mario Kart tournament than figuri...
So, I just found out my childhood best friend has been telling people we were “not that close” because she thinks it sounds cooler than saying we used to play in mud and pretend we were superheroes. Like, excuse me? We shared snacks, inside jokes, and the most traumatic experience of losing a pet goldfish together. Honestly, if that’s not a bond, I don’t know what is. Now I’m over here questioning my entire existence and whether I should show up to her next wedding dressed as a superhero just to remind her. How dare she?
So, I just found out my childhood best friend has been telling people we were “not that close” because she thinks it sounds cooler than saying we used to play in mud and pretend we were superheroes. Like, excuse me? We shared snacks, inside jokes, and the most traumatic experience of losing a pet goldfish together. Honestly, if that’s not a bond, I don’t know what is. Now I’m over here questioning my entire existence and whether I should show up to her next wedding dressed as a superhero just to remind her. How dare she?
Can we just agree that giving unsolicited advice is like giving someone a gift they never wanted? Like, I don’t need your thoughts on my life choices when you still can’t figure out how to parallel park. Honestly, if I wanted my drama made into a soap opera, I’d cast you as the clueless sidekick. So here’s my advice: if you can’t even manage your own mess, maybe stick to commenting on cat videos i...