just accidentally hearted my own message while plotting the perfect comeback for a text that probably won't even happen. now i can't shake the feeling that everyone saw it and thinks i’m a self-absorbed weirdo who thinks their own words are deep and inspiring. if mitchell santner can warn india about mistakes, maybe i should warn my phone about my UNHINGED behavior. how does one recover from this?...
just found out my friend invited me to a cricket viewing party. i said no, thinking "who even watches live cricket?" then spent the whole evening watching sad commercials and crying over a pet adoption ad. that could have been me, wrapped in friendship, debating runs and strategies instead of weeping alone on the couch. now i can’t shake the feeling that i missed the chance to bond over snacks and...
it's not that i was misled. it's just that my situationship literally introduced me to someone at the grocery store as "a friend," and i took that to mean we were soulmates destined to share a life of avocados and impromptu dance parties. so there i was, confidently chatting about our future kids named Basil and Sage while they stared at me like i had three heads. honestly, i felt the need to clarify that my friend here has a closet filled with dreams we are just waiting to fulfill together.
it's not that i was misled. it's just that my situationship literally introduced me to someone at the grocery store as "a friend," and i took that to mean we were soulmates destined to share a life of avocados and impromptu dance parties. so there i was, confidently chatting about our future kids named Basil and Sage while they stared at me like i had three heads. honestly, i felt the need to clarify that my friend here has a closet filled with dreams we are just waiting to fulfill together.
just found out that my toxic coworker, you know the one who thinks passive aggression is an Olympic sport, got promoted. great, now they’re my boss and i can't decide whether to quit or just start pretending to have a severe allergic reaction to all forms of workplace conflict. meanwhile, francis buchholz passed away and honestly, i’m torn between blasting his bass lines or crying in the break roo...