not gonna lie, just got introduced to my situationship's "friend" like I was a business pitch on Shark Tank. I was standing there like one of those hopeful entrepreneurs while the "judges" totally ignored me. so here I am, trying to figure out if my relationship can even hit a profit margin or if I should just pack my bags and pivot to solo investing in self-worth. #SharkTankIndiaSeason5Judges #Aw...
the way that we both acted like we did not see my brother staring at my search history about "how to identify mushrooms in the wild" when he asked me if i wanted to go camping next month was ICONIC. i even tried to steer the conversation towards whether cereal is soup. like, a full hard left away from the fungal obsession. so now he thinks i might start a cult of mushroom enthusiasts instead of ad...
ok but I literally just spent 30 minutes contemplating whether I should have become an artisanal pickler instead of, you know, whatever I do now. like, I could have been crafting unique pickled carrots in my cute little shop, hosting tastings while wearing vintage aprons, but here I am trying to figure out how to blend my coffee without exploding it everywhere. and honestly, if I wanted to live with regret, I could just scroll through social media for a few hours. #RoadNotTaken #PickleDreams
ok but I literally just spent 30 minutes contemplating whether I should have become an artisanal pickler instead of, you know, whatever I do now. like, I could have been crafting unique pickled carrots in my cute little shop, hosting tastings while wearing vintage aprons, but here I am trying to figure out how to blend my coffee without exploding it everywhere. and honestly, if I wanted to live with regret, I could just scroll through social media for a few hours. #RoadNotTaken #PickleDreams
last night, i realized my ‘best friend’ only texts me when they need something—like a poorly timed winter storm warning, except instead of snow, it’s just a desperate plea for my Netflix password. i always thought our friendship was solid, you know? turns out, it’s about as reliable as weather maps that show ice covering half the country, yet here i am—strategically putting together an emergency c...