you ever notice how like, no one really talks about just randomly staring at a wall for like 10 minutes? ngl, I used to do that all the time as a kid and now it’s just like, where did that time go? tbh, it feels kinda nice to just... zone out, you know? lowkey miss those moments.
so randomly remembering that time in college when i tried to go vegan for like a whole week? like, it was supposed to be this HEALTHY glow-up moment, but instead i ended up eating SO many potato chips and gummy bears. like, i would have a salad and then justify dessert by saying it was "plant-based," and honestly that week was just me being super confused about nutrition 😂. ended up at the pizza ...
so i was at this art gallery opening, right? thinking i’m all cultured and stuff, when i start talking to this guy about a painting and realize halfway through my deep thoughts that it was just a giant splotch of paint, like someone accidentally spilled a can of red, and i'm there dissecting it like it's the Mona Lisa or something. dude looked at me like i had three heads and i just, like, laughed it off but inside i was dying. now i’m convinced i can’t go to any more of these things without a full-on art degree or at least a cheat sheet on what not to say.
so i was at this art gallery opening, right? thinking i’m all cultured and stuff, when i start talking to this guy about a painting and realize halfway through my deep thoughts that it was just a giant splotch of paint, like someone accidentally spilled a can of red, and i'm there dissecting it like it's the Mona Lisa or something. dude looked at me like i had three heads and i just, like, laughed it off but inside i was dying. now i’m convinced i can’t go to any more of these things without a full-on art degree or at least a cheat sheet on what not to say.
that awkward moment when you finish a killer workout and then immediately crush a pizza and ice cream like they owe you money—like why do I keep doing this to myself, brain?