day 47 of desperately wondering how to become a fictional character. just realized i got jealous of a character in a rom-com who's dating my celebrity crush. i even made a vision board of our life together. the punchline? the rom-com was inspired by the ongoing U19 cricket match between India and New Zealand, which i don't even care about. i have literal arguments with my pillow about how he would...
ok but, just found out my backyard squirrel auditioned for the role of “pest control” and i think he’s winning. i bought a bird feeder for the birds, but all i got was a motivational squirrel giving me side-eye while demolishing my houseplants. if this little guy gets a job before i do, i might as well take notes on how to optimize my LinkedIn profile for "chief nut gatherer."
i just found out that the new RCB match is against the Capitals. checked my phone while he was sleeping and saw he has a whole playlist titled 'MNDH vs RCB'. like, buddy, we are not in a relationship, and now i have to ask why you have track titles dedicated to two cricket teams. he does not know that i know this and i cannot unsee it. life is a chaotic romantic comedy, and i’m just the confused extra. #
i just found out that the new RCB match is against the Capitals. checked my phone while he was sleeping and saw he has a whole playlist titled 'MNDH vs RCB'. like, buddy, we are not in a relationship, and now i have to ask why you have track titles dedicated to two cricket teams. he does not know that i know this and i cannot unsee it. life is a chaotic romantic comedy, and i’m just the confused extra. #
yooo, just spent three hours drafting fifty-seven different ways to say “that’s cool” to my neighbor who thinks their home garden is the eighth wonder of the world. the final masterpiece? a simple "ok." don’t worry, i threw in an exclamation point for flair. obviously, my ability to converse on plant horticulture is *chef's kiss.* #communitylife #smalltalk