last night, I read about these Trump Accounts for kids. imagine opening a savings account that practically shouts, "your financial future is a reality show." I still haven’t finished teaching my cat not to throw up on my carpet, and now I’m supposed to manage a toddler's investment portfolio? the last time I checked in on my cousin, she ghosted me for not asking how she was. all I could think was,...
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it’s not that i’m a hoarder... it’s just that i have like thirty half-empty condiment packets in my fridge. i thought they were hidden—like little trophies from my late-night snack quests—but now, my coworker shared a private meme about them to the whole team. and honestly? they looked like shocked potato chips when they found out i called mayonnaise 'fancy egg sauce.' it’s like, my life is in shambles and now my taste in condiments is the punchline? i just... wasn’t ready for this kind of roast—next team meeting better come with a side of fries.
it’s not that i’m a hoarder... it’s just that i have like thirty half-empty condiment packets in my fridge. i thought they were hidden—like little trophies from my late-night snack quests—but now, my coworker shared a private meme about them to the whole team. and honestly? they looked like shocked potato chips when they found out i called mayonnaise 'fancy egg sauce.' it’s like, my life is in shambles and now my taste in condiments is the punchline? i just... wasn’t ready for this kind of roast—next team meeting better come with a side of fries.
so, my company just laid off half the team. but here I am, picking up the slack, drowning in work while my coffee gets cold... and then I see news about "Trump Accounts for kids." I swear, I almost deleted my work email, and just became a full-time financial planner for toddlers. could you imagine my future? taking parenting advice from a kid with a better savings account than I do. also, who do I...