ever wonder why adults are ALWAYS tired? it’s because they let someone convince them that "adulting" means buying a THIRTY dollar artisanal jar of pickles instead of just getting the cheap ones that taste the same. i thought the BARISTA at my local shop was flirting with me, but really, he was just trying to upsell the fancy toast. now here i am, wondering why my love life feels so stale while my ...
ever think about how your parents had life all figured out at your age? like, they were scheduling their dentist appointments and balancing checkbooks. meanwhile, i can barely remember if i fed my houseplant today. they had it together while i just bought a second hamster because the first one looked lonely. can you imagine? i'm the one trying to figure out if microwaving leftover pizza counts as ...
literally just realized my whole life has been a game of musical chairs and i’ve been the only one not making it to a seat. why? because instead of trying to sit down, i kept running around singing the wrong lyrics and blaming the music. turns out, it was me. always me. #ExistentialCrisis #ProcrastinationExpert
literally just realized my whole life has been a game of musical chairs and i’ve been the only one not making it to a seat. why? because instead of trying to sit down, i kept running around singing the wrong lyrics and blaming the music. turns out, it was me. always me. #ExistentialCrisis #ProcrastinationExpert
honestly, i moved to this new city because i was, like, literally convinced we were going to be together forever. three months later, they ghosted me harder than i ghost the gym after a week of good intentions. now, i'm out here wondering if i should invest in a pelican or a thunder as my new emotional support animal because let me tell you, my life feels like a complete flop compared to that game...