it's not that i’m obsessed, it’s just that i was really emotional after the news about the stranger things spin-off. so, in a moment of vulnerability, i accidentally hearted my own message about how i'll never get over season 4. my friend noticed and now they're convinced my phone’s possessed. meanwhile, i'm drowning in anxiety about work, bills, and my whole life crumbling around me. all i wanted...
my screen time report came in and it’s a little suspicious how the 'highest used apps' section looks like a poorly crafted buffet of anxiety and procrastination. like, do i really need three hundred hours on the meme generator? when did casually scrolling through conspiracy theories turn into a full-time job? the scariest part? my top trending audio for the week is still a soundbite of someone yel...
yooo, saw the buzz around the barca match and realized I've spent more time planning my next taco order than my life. like, I’m talking full strategy here, while my friends are becoming lawyers and doctors. meanwhile, I spent the last three years perfecting my skill at rearranging my furniture and hoping my plants will communicate their needs to me. now I’m like, bruh, what am I even doing? caught myself wondering if that couch can apply for a job while I can’t even figure out how to adult. everything’s a mess, but at least the couch looks nice, right? #BarcaMatch #adultingishard
yooo, saw the buzz around the barca match and realized I've spent more time planning my next taco order than my life. like, I’m talking full strategy here, while my friends are becoming lawyers and doctors. meanwhile, I spent the last three years perfecting my skill at rearranging my furniture and hoping my plants will communicate their needs to me. now I’m like, bruh, what am I even doing? caught myself wondering if that couch can apply for a job while I can’t even figure out how to adult. everything’s a mess, but at least the couch looks nice, right? #BarcaMatch #adultingishard
wait, so I just found out my great uncle was a competitive yo-yo champion back in the nineties and that explains all my family's weird, twitchy habits. like, why does everyone do these random wrist flicks during family dinners? they think they are playing it cool, but really they are one step away from throwing down a sick trick with their invisible yo-yo. now I understand why my cousin always car...