day 3 of pretending i can't go out because i “have a family emergency.” really i just discovered my phone can play that new car accident lawyer ad on repeat for three hours, and the bills stacked next to my couch are giving me a personal crisis— like, the universe really has a sense of humor when it comes to timing. why did i even say i was dealing with “urgent matters”? last time i checked, tryin...
ever find yourself at a family dinner and your mom casually asks when you are having kids? but here you are, alone with your snacks and the 57 plants you named after your future children? as you prepare to deliver a thoughtful, nonchalant response, you accidentally make eye contact with your great-aunt who thinks your life is one giant comedy. awkward silence stretches out as you consider your opt...
yooo, saw that news about "Spirit" dropping and thought about how I've been trying to breathe life into a friendship that clearly flatlined ages ago. like I sent a heartfelt message saying "let's catch up" and immediately realized that I was basically offering to pay my own funeral costs while planning a party no one would come to. not gonna lie, if my social life were a film directed by Sandeep Reddy Vanga, it would be called "The Spirit of Denial" and would have a very low budget. #SpiritSandeepReddyVanga #unfortunatevibes
yooo, saw that news about "Spirit" dropping and thought about how I've been trying to breathe life into a friendship that clearly flatlined ages ago. like I sent a heartfelt message saying "let's catch up" and immediately realized that I was basically offering to pay my own funeral costs while planning a party no one would come to. not gonna lie, if my social life were a film directed by Sandeep Reddy Vanga, it would be called "The Spirit of Denial" and would have a very low budget. #SpiritSandeepReddyVanga #unfortunatevibes
last night, I literally found myself calculating how much I make selling antique spoons online versus my actual job, and honestly, it’s so close that I had to think about which job would feel worse to quit. then I realized I have an emotional attachment to the spoons, which is ridiculous because they were literally just collecting dust until I decided they could fund my avocado toast habit.