i pretended to have a job promotion just to impress my friends. no one knew i was actually swimming in debt and working a dead-end gig. now i send myself emails like i’m some big shot, but really i can’t afford my next meal. its wild how good i am at lying about my life while desperately hoping no one finds out im just a mess with bills stacked like my last few failed attempts at adulting.
not gonna lie, i have this overwhelming weight of knowing a secret that would literally ruin a relationship, but also destroy mine in the process. i see the love they have for each other and it feels like a beautiful painting, except i’m the artist who knows it’s just splatters underneath, waiting to come out.
wait—everyone is celebrating how their favorite teams are performing in the Paulistão while I'm here feeling like a ghost in my own life. like, how is it that my friends find time for all this excitement when I can’t even remember the last time I felt seen by someone? nobody understands the loneliness creeping in, like it's its own player on my field, while I'm stuck on the bench. #PaulistaA1 #lonelyinacrowd
wait—everyone is celebrating how their favorite teams are performing in the Paulistão while I'm here feeling like a ghost in my own life. like, how is it that my friends find time for all this excitement when I can’t even remember the last time I felt seen by someone? nobody understands the loneliness creeping in, like it's its own player on my field, while I'm stuck on the bench. #PaulistaA1 #lonelyinacrowd
not gonna lie, sometimes I feel like the only one at family gatherings who hasn't figured life out. everyone’s got their partners, jobs, and stories, and I’m just here, like, "hello, did anyone ask about me?" each time my parents compare me to my cousins, I can feel that weight—the weight of disappointment they carry for me. it's exhausting pretending I’m fine when all I want is for someone to jus...