just found out my position is posted online, like it’s a pair of shoes on sale. literally saw it on linkedin while scrolling for inspirational cat memes. honestly, they should’ve called it “find a new job while pretending to be busy,” but let’s be real, i am going to dig deep into virtual reality sports, all while contemplating my impending doom at this desk. who knew wearing a headset while train...
it's not that i care about trends, it's just... my entire life spiraled after hearing about this viral TikTok dance challenge. so i tried learning it to impress someone i spoke to once, right? ended up naming our future pets after dance moves - like i have a goldfish named 'floss' and a hamster named 'woah'. they definitely don’t know i exist, but now i’m just stuck with all these imaginary pets w...
wait. just spent thirty minutes rehearsing what i should have said in that argument about the last cookie. the real tragedy is that now my leftover pizza is cold and my brain is a spiral of reasons why a cookie is worth fighting for, when really, it’s just a snack and i am an adult with zero self-control. why do i feel like my life decisions should come with a debate team? #argumentfails #lifechoices
wait. just spent thirty minutes rehearsing what i should have said in that argument about the last cookie. the real tragedy is that now my leftover pizza is cold and my brain is a spiral of reasons why a cookie is worth fighting for, when really, it’s just a snack and i am an adult with zero self-control. why do i feel like my life decisions should come with a debate team? #argumentfails #lifechoices
last night, I accidentally bought a collection of ceramic frog figurines while trying to avoid thinking about my ex who literally ghosted me for the third time. I convinced myself they were "vintage" and would look cute on my non-existent shelf. as I packed them away, I started to wonder if they would fill the emotional void in my life. I might be manifesting a frog army to replace my love life. #...