it’s not that I’m bad with money, it’s just that I literally forgot I subscribed to a magazine about obscure fungi. somehow, I’m down three hundred on spore shipments and now my bookshelf looks like a bad nature documentary. I thought I was just interested in mushrooms. turns out I’m a FUNGUS HOARDER. #UnexpectedRegrets #SubscriptionProblems
the way that i confidently prepared for my hypothetical role as a fairy godmother, only to realize my friends picked me as the pumpkin instead. yes, the pumpkin. it was fully humiliating. now i am literally just sitting here, rotting in a corner, wondering if i should embrace my vegetable destiny or plan an escape.
last night I caught myself deep-diving into the love story of a couple from my hometown that I have never met. I learned their dog’s name, their favorite taco spot, and that their first kiss was at an amusement park… in 2009. Suddenly, I’m questioning every life decision that led me to know this while they have NO IDEA who I am or that I’m silently cheering for their anniversary that I somehow have marked on my calendar.
last night I caught myself deep-diving into the love story of a couple from my hometown that I have never met. I learned their dog’s name, their favorite taco spot, and that their first kiss was at an amusement park… in 2009. Suddenly, I’m questioning every life decision that led me to know this while they have NO IDEA who I am or that I’m silently cheering for their anniversary that I somehow have marked on my calendar.
the way that i was casually pacing in my room while eating cereal straight from the box, and my parents walked in just as i turned around to fix my hair with a spoon. so now they think i am living in a personal episode of a survival show, but really, it's just me living my best life in my pajamas, pretending i am too busy to do laundry.