i just found out my position was posted on LinkedIn—honestly, who does that? what kind of world are we living in where i check my profile and see my job description as an open casting call? i mean, is this a personal attack or an audition? right after seeing victoria mboko crushing it in the fourth round, i'm just trying to figure out if my life is in the game or on the bench. do i need a new outf...
yooo, had a holiday dinner that literally turned into an intervention about my life choices. everyone started bringing up my obsession with jason statham movies as if its a problem. like, im just trying to channel that energy into my vision board for becoming an action hero myself. suddenly, my uncle suggests i quit my job to become a full-time fan page admin, and im like... do i need to pack for ...
it’s not that I’m bad with money, it’s just that I literally forgot I subscribed to a magazine about obscure fungi. somehow, I’m down three hundred on spore shipments and now my bookshelf looks like a bad nature documentary. I thought I was just interested in mushrooms. turns out I’m a FUNGUS HOARDER. #UnexpectedRegrets #SubscriptionProblems
it’s not that I’m bad with money, it’s just that I literally forgot I subscribed to a magazine about obscure fungi. somehow, I’m down three hundred on spore shipments and now my bookshelf looks like a bad nature documentary. I thought I was just interested in mushrooms. turns out I’m a FUNGUS HOARDER. #UnexpectedRegrets #SubscriptionProblems
the way that i confidently prepared for my hypothetical role as a fairy godmother, only to realize my friends picked me as the pumpkin instead. yes, the pumpkin. it was fully humiliating. now i am literally just sitting here, rotting in a corner, wondering if i should embrace my vegetable destiny or plan an escape.