Is anyone else secretly convinced that adulthood is just a big prank? Like, one day you’re sipping on juice boxes and the next you’re stressing about taxes and trying to figure out if it's too late to change your career from “whatever pays the bills” to “that thing I actually like”. Honestly, I feel like every time I make a decision, a panel of judges in my head is like, "And the award for Most Co...
You ever notice how people are always giving you unsolicited advice, like it's a hot commodity? Like, thanks for your wisdom, Karen, but I don't think my love life is gonna improve with a Pinterest board on "how to manifest my soulmate." Meanwhile, I’m just trying to get through my Sunday without burning my toast. Honestly, sometimes you just need to survive the week without setting your kitchen o...
Can we talk about how every time I try to park, it feels like I’m preparing for the Olympics? Like, why is there always that one random car that thinks it’s a good idea to occupy two spaces at a crowded mall? I’m over here trying to channel my inner NASCAR driver to get into a spot that clearly requires the skills of a trained acrobat. Meanwhile, I’m sweating like I just ran a marathon and the only prize I get is a scratch on my bumper. Who decided parking was a sport? Because I definitely didn’t sign up for that!
Can we talk about how every time I try to park, it feels like I’m preparing for the Olympics? Like, why is there always that one random car that thinks it’s a good idea to occupy two spaces at a crowded mall? I’m over here trying to channel my inner NASCAR driver to get into a spot that clearly requires the skills of a trained acrobat. Meanwhile, I’m sweating like I just ran a marathon and the only prize I get is a scratch on my bumper. Who decided parking was a sport? Because I definitely didn’t sign up for that!
I’m at that point in my life where my fridge has more expired food than actual groceries, and I’m still pretending I’m a functioning adult. I mean, how am I expected to meal prep when the only thing I can successfully cook is instant noodles? At this rate, my future kids are gonna think "cereal for dinner" is a five-star cuisine. Anyone else just winging it like we’re in a reality show no one sign...