So I decided to pick up cooking during lockdown, thinking I’d emerge as a gourmet chef, you know? Fast forward six months and I’ve somehow managed to burn water. I once mistook cayenne pepper for paprika and ended up making a dish so spicy I swear my smoke alarm filed for a restraining order against me. Honestly, what’s the point of cooking if every meal feels like a culinary episode of "Survivor"...
Is anyone else secretly convinced that adulthood is just a big prank? Like, one day you’re sipping on juice boxes and the next you’re stressing about taxes and trying to figure out if it's too late to change your career from “whatever pays the bills” to “that thing I actually like”. Honestly, I feel like every time I make a decision, a panel of judges in my head is like, "And the award for Most Co...
You ever notice how people are always giving you unsolicited advice, like it's a hot commodity? Like, thanks for your wisdom, Karen, but I don't think my love life is gonna improve with a Pinterest board on "how to manifest my soulmate." Meanwhile, I’m just trying to get through my Sunday without burning my toast. Honestly, sometimes you just need to survive the week without setting your kitchen on fire, and that's a bigger accomplishment than any inspirational quote can handle.
You ever notice how people are always giving you unsolicited advice, like it's a hot commodity? Like, thanks for your wisdom, Karen, but I don't think my love life is gonna improve with a Pinterest board on "how to manifest my soulmate." Meanwhile, I’m just trying to get through my Sunday without burning my toast. Honestly, sometimes you just need to survive the week without setting your kitchen on fire, and that's a bigger accomplishment than any inspirational quote can handle.
Can we talk about how every time I try to park, it feels like I’m preparing for the Olympics? Like, why is there always that one random car that thinks it’s a good idea to occupy two spaces at a crowded mall? I’m over here trying to channel my inner NASCAR driver to get into a spot that clearly requires the skills of a trained acrobat. Meanwhile, I’m sweating like I just ran a marathon and the onl...