said yes to going out tomorrow and all i can think about is how much i would rather sit at home with my thoughts, maybe it’s better to just stare at the wall than force small talk with strangers. some days i just want to disappear into nothingness, but here i am, putting on a smile for a life that feels fake.
delivering food now but sometimes i still hear the faint echo of “doctor” in my head like a bad podcast where the host won't stop repeating themselves, just in case i forgot who i used to be while carrying someone else's dinner order through the rain
i keep thinking about how life is just a waiting game, like waiting for insurance to approve treatment while my body falls apart. had some plans for this year, now all i do is sit here questioning if it matters or if i just signed up for the wrong ride.
i keep thinking about how life is just a waiting game, like waiting for insurance to approve treatment while my body falls apart. had some plans for this year, now all i do is sit here questioning if it matters or if i just signed up for the wrong ride.
so my blender literally broke right as i was trying to make my smoothie and now i am fully questioning if it was the smoothie that was supposed to improve my life or the blender that was just trying to escape its existence like, sorry blender you just have to deal with it like the rest of us but honestly how dare you have the audacity to break when i am literally trying to take charge of my health...