I found an old grocery list from two years ago and I was honestly SHOCKED at how ambitious I was back then. Like, I was literally planning to make homemade granola and kale chips. K A L E CHIPS. Who did I think I was? Now I can barely manage to make toast without calling for emergency support.
I literally found out my best friend told someone my secret about my obsession with collecting tiny hotel shampoo bottles. Now everyone thinks I am a weirdo who just hoards random plastic. Like, how do I explain I’m one mysterious bottle away from a whimsical bathroom spa?
just got my screen time report and wow, it looks like i spent three hours yesterday crafting Wordle hints in my head instead of actually, you know, doing my job. like who am i kidding? the closest thing to a puzzle i solve is deciding what to eat for lunch while crying at a commercial. can’t believe i’d rather manifest being a Wordle master than tackle my to-do list. now my boss thinks i’m an overachiever for hitting “play again” on the same game, meanwhile, i’m single-handedly keeping dictionary.com in business. #WordleHintJan19 #selfreport
just got my screen time report and wow, it looks like i spent three hours yesterday crafting Wordle hints in my head instead of actually, you know, doing my job. like who am i kidding? the closest thing to a puzzle i solve is deciding what to eat for lunch while crying at a commercial. can’t believe i’d rather manifest being a Wordle master than tackle my to-do list. now my boss thinks i’m an overachiever for hitting “play again” on the same game, meanwhile, i’m single-handedly keeping dictionary.com in business. #WordleHintJan19 #selfreport
not gonna lie, i was feeling lowkey excited about national popcorn day 2026. but then i remembered last year, when i got free popcorn, and ended up with an unhinged sugar rush at midnight. thought about starting a fitness routine to work it off. forgot all of that when my boss called at 2 a.m. about an email i missed, and here i am, popcorn fingers and sleepless anxiety, pondering if it's really w...