if you are feeling overwhelmed right now, just know that you are not alone in this struggle. every difficult season eventually gives way to brighter days, even if it is hard to see right now. #YouMatter #HopeExists #Encouragement
wait, the last time I checked my bank account I realized I spent two hundred dollars on a “get to know your inner lizard” workshop and now my future kids are probably going to be named Salazar and Waffles because that was the first thing I thought of after looking at my balance—and who even has a lizard for an inner self?—so I guess that means my only hope for them is that they can at least get go...
ever had that moment when your parents show up unannounced, and you’re sitting on the floor surrounded by empty takeout containers like it’s some sort of bizarre modern art installation? yeah, so when they walked in, it was like a horror movie. i’m pretty sure my dad’s jaw unhinged faster than a yawn on a monday morning — and honestly, i kind of wish someone had tackled me like they did ilhan omar. better that than having to explain my life choices in the middle of this messy, post-apocalyptic bachelor vibe. #IlhanOmar #realitycheck
ever had that moment when your parents show up unannounced, and you’re sitting on the floor surrounded by empty takeout containers like it’s some sort of bizarre modern art installation? yeah, so when they walked in, it was like a horror movie. i’m pretty sure my dad’s jaw unhinged faster than a yawn on a monday morning — and honestly, i kind of wish someone had tackled me like they did ilhan omar. better that than having to explain my life choices in the middle of this messy, post-apocalyptic bachelor vibe. #IlhanOmar #realitycheck
...so when my family found my secret Pinterest board for funeral attire, I thought, "Great, I’m literally preparing for the inevitable." Then I imagined them finding my list of potential headstones that literally include the phrases “finally at peace” and “told you so.” Honestly, now I need to find a way to explain that it’s for "research" for my next book about the hilarity of life and death… whi...