last night, i realized i told a coworker i used to skateboard as a kid. i didn’t, but they seemed to think it was cool and i panicked. now i’m watching youtube tutorials on how to ride a board and praying nobody asks me to demonstrate. this is all because i felt the need to be “interesting” and now my life is slowly becoming a montage of lies and extreme sports, all because of an oil-rich province...
last night, I found out my friend told someone my secret hobby of collecting novelty spoons. like, novelty spoons. I panicked, imagining all the awkward conversations about "spoon culture" at parties. I thought I had a cool angle with "spooning" humor, but now everyone just thinks I’m a walking spoon museum. turns out, nobody wants to hear about my fifty-seven spoons from fifty-seven different sta...
yooo, I just found out my sibling’s actually the chosen one for getting the family heirloom. I mean, it’s not even a trophy, it’s just a really old chair with suspicious stains! but hey, at least now I can play “musical chairs” for family gatherings, because I definitely can’t take the spotlight when I’m over here like, "watch me sit on my non-heirloom furniture in my stylish yet tragically affordable clothes!"
yooo, I just found out my sibling’s actually the chosen one for getting the family heirloom. I mean, it’s not even a trophy, it’s just a really old chair with suspicious stains! but hey, at least now I can play “musical chairs” for family gatherings, because I definitely can’t take the spotlight when I’m over here like, "watch me sit on my non-heirloom furniture in my stylish yet tragically affordable clothes!"
it's not that I didn't see the signs... it's just I thought my annual obsession with collecting rare spoons was just a quirky hobby. then I realized my friends actually started hiding their forks whenever I came over. maybe I was the only one spooning the whole time, huh.