wait, I just found out about fábián marozsán. I literally wrote a whole acceptance speech in the shower for an award I haven't even been nominated for. I rehearsed it so many times that I had a dream where I tripped on stage and ended up thanking my high school gym teacher for helping me survive the SATs. my phone died midway through, so now I can't even prove that I prepared for this embarrassing...
lmao, my boss just said "we're like family here" right before dropping the bomb that there are literally no raises this year. like, what family? the one that borrows money but never pays you back? honestly, at this point I would settle for a FAMILY DISCOUNT on my salary. #workplacevibes #definitelynotafamily
last night, I was deep stalking my ex's Instagram while simultaneously Googling "symptoms of mold exposure," because I heard LeAnn Rimes had a meltdown after her teeth fell out mid-concert, and now I'm convinced I'm a walking biohazard. in a moment of panic, I accidentally liked a photo from 2018 while gasping about the microplastics in my own life. my heart dropped faster than when my boss asked for the report I forgot to finish. now, I'm left wondering if I should deactivate my account, move to a remote island, or just buy a high-tech water filter while I plan my new career as a plasma treatment guru. #LeannRimes #RelatableDisaster
last night, I was deep stalking my ex's Instagram while simultaneously Googling "symptoms of mold exposure," because I heard LeAnn Rimes had a meltdown after her teeth fell out mid-concert, and now I'm convinced I'm a walking biohazard. in a moment of panic, I accidentally liked a photo from 2018 while gasping about the microplastics in my own life. my heart dropped faster than when my boss asked for the report I forgot to finish. now, I'm left wondering if I should deactivate my account, move to a remote island, or just buy a high-tech water filter while I plan my new career as a plasma treatment guru. #LeannRimes #RelatableDisaster
it's 2am and I caught myself Googling “how to support a friend who is stressed about their job,” which is literally something my parents should know—I mean, why am I asking the internet for parenting advice when I can just call them, but then I remembered they would probably just suggest I become a tennis star like Daniil Medvedev instead and then it hit me—who even needs career plans when you can...