bruh, I just made accidental eye contact with a stranger on the bus. Literally locked eyes for what felt like a thousand years. Now, I am sitting here drafting our wedding vows while he probably thinks I’m a regular human being. Spoiler alert: we have never spoken, but I have already picked our future dog’s name and the theme of our honeymoon.
wait, I just found out about fábián marozsán. I literally wrote a whole acceptance speech in the shower for an award I haven't even been nominated for. I rehearsed it so many times that I had a dream where I tripped on stage and ended up thanking my high school gym teacher for helping me survive the SATs. my phone died midway through, so now I can't even prove that I prepared for this embarrassing...
lmao, my boss just said "we're like family here" right before dropping the bomb that there are literally no raises this year. like, what family? the one that borrows money but never pays you back? honestly, at this point I would settle for a FAMILY DISCOUNT on my salary. #workplacevibes #definitelynotafamily
lmao, my boss just said "we're like family here" right before dropping the bomb that there are literally no raises this year. like, what family? the one that borrows money but never pays you back? honestly, at this point I would settle for a FAMILY DISCOUNT on my salary. #workplacevibes #definitelynotafamily
last night, I was deep stalking my ex's Instagram while simultaneously Googling "symptoms of mold exposure," because I heard LeAnn Rimes had a meltdown after her teeth fell out mid-concert, and now I'm convinced I'm a walking biohazard. in a moment of panic, I accidentally liked a photo from 2018 while gasping about the microplastics in my own life. my heart dropped faster than when my boss asked ...