So last week, I thought it would be a genius idea to finally try cooking something fancy for my friends. I decided on a "gourmet" pasta dish, which basically turned into a scene from a horror movie when I realized I bought the wrong type of pasta. Long story short, I ended up serving them what looked like a sad bowl of glue with some vegetables desperately trying to swim their way to freedom. Now ...
You ever notice that every time you finally sit down to enjoy a movie, that one friend who claims they’ve seen everything shows up and starts narrating the whole plot? Like, I didn’t sign up for the live commentary, Karen. If I wanted spoilers, I’d just browse Twitter during the film. Honestly, I’d rather watch a two-hour documentary on paint drying than endure your backseat directing. How do peop...
Why does every society uncle think he’s an expert on my life choices? Like, bro, I’m pretty sure your biggest achievement is finding the best spot to park in a crowded lane. The other day, he tried to convince me that I should have pursued engineering instead of art. I nearly asked him if he’s ever drawn anything more complicated than an arrow pointing to “successful” on his own chart of life. Just once, I want to see him try to explain my career choices at a family gathering as passionately as he explains why “Sharma ji ka beta” is the gold standard of success.
Why does every society uncle think he’s an expert on my life choices? Like, bro, I’m pretty sure your biggest achievement is finding the best spot to park in a crowded lane. The other day, he tried to convince me that I should have pursued engineering instead of art. I nearly asked him if he’s ever drawn anything more complicated than an arrow pointing to “successful” on his own chart of life. Just once, I want to see him try to explain my career choices at a family gathering as passionately as he explains why “Sharma ji ka beta” is the gold standard of success.
If your boss ever tells you "we're like a family here," just know you might want to start looking for new jobs. Family means unsolicited advice, awkward gatherings, and definitely no boundaries, and I didn’t sign up for that in my 9 to 5. Seriously, I want to work with professionals, not get dragged into emotional group therapy sessions where I have to share my deepest fears like some weird corpor...