I swear, every time I try to cook a “simple” meal, it turns into a full-on episode of Kitchen Nightmares. I once burned water—like, HOW? And don’t get me started on my attempt at baking cookies; I ended up with chocolate chip pancakes because I forgot the flour. Meanwhile, my mom still acts like I’m the family disappointment for not being able to feed myself. At this point, I’m just waiting for Go...
Confession time: I thought I was a "funny" cook until I almost burned my kitchen down trying to impress a date with homemade pasta. Spoiler alert: burnt spaghetti is not as romantic as it sounds. I ended up ordering takeout and pretending it was my recipe while my date tried to guess the secret ingredient... It's a miracle I got a second date. Who knew lying about cooking skills could be a thing? ...
So last week, I thought it would be a genius idea to finally try cooking something fancy for my friends. I decided on a "gourmet" pasta dish, which basically turned into a scene from a horror movie when I realized I bought the wrong type of pasta. Long story short, I ended up serving them what looked like a sad bowl of glue with some vegetables desperately trying to swim their way to freedom. Now they want to bring takeout to every gathering at my place, and honestly, can’t say I blame them. Cooking is a battlefield I’m clearly not ready for.
So last week, I thought it would be a genius idea to finally try cooking something fancy for my friends. I decided on a "gourmet" pasta dish, which basically turned into a scene from a horror movie when I realized I bought the wrong type of pasta. Long story short, I ended up serving them what looked like a sad bowl of glue with some vegetables desperately trying to swim their way to freedom. Now they want to bring takeout to every gathering at my place, and honestly, can’t say I blame them. Cooking is a battlefield I’m clearly not ready for.
You ever notice that every time you finally sit down to enjoy a movie, that one friend who claims they’ve seen everything shows up and starts narrating the whole plot? Like, I didn’t sign up for the live commentary, Karen. If I wanted spoilers, I’d just browse Twitter during the film. Honestly, I’d rather watch a two-hour documentary on paint drying than endure your backseat directing. How do peop...