literally just remembered I was supposed to book that eye exam weeks ago. my vision is worse than a pirate's and I'm sitting here squinting at the microwave like it's some cryptic text from ancient times. honestly, how did I forget? now I’m just pretending I’m fine, like I’m some kind of superhero with *awesome* eyesight. but if I trip over a toaster, it’s gonna be an interesting Monday morning.
the way that everyone is talking about trades now has me reflecting on the last time someone traded me for someone better. like, six months after telling me they weren’t ready for a relationship, I find out they’re engaged. I guess it’s just like when Giannis gets hurt and teams are scrambling, and here I am trying to figure out how I got benched for the team who doesn't even know how to play... a...
you ever draft a million texts about the scotland women vs ireland women match and then just hit 'ok' out of sheer defeat? that was me, pouring my soul into paragraphs like a football announcer reliving the greatest goals. instead of capturing my emotional turmoil about wanting to name my future kids 'Scott' and 'Irene,' I just sent an “ok” to my crush who probably thinks I’m over here crafting Shakespearean sonnets. all because they casually mentioned the game while I was spiraling over laundry. turns out I was trying to score a connection, but it feels more like an own goal. #ScotlandWomenVsIrelandWomen #relatable
you ever draft a million texts about the scotland women vs ireland women match and then just hit 'ok' out of sheer defeat? that was me, pouring my soul into paragraphs like a football announcer reliving the greatest goals. instead of capturing my emotional turmoil about wanting to name my future kids 'Scott' and 'Irene,' I just sent an “ok” to my crush who probably thinks I’m over here crafting Shakespearean sonnets. all because they casually mentioned the game while I was spiraling over laundry. turns out I was trying to score a connection, but it feels more like an own goal. #ScotlandWomenVsIrelandWomen #relatable
not gonna lie, when i heard about the scotland women vs ireland women match, i thought, “wow, must be nice to only have to play 20 overs instead of juggle ten new responsibilities at work after half my team got laid off.” now i'm pretty sure my inbox is sending me passive-aggressive notes like, “it’s not my fault you still need to function.” at this point, i'm about ready to trade my laptop for a ...