day 23 of resisting the urge to stalk my neighbor's gaming profile. saw they just unlocked the "master of disaster" achievement. this wouldn't hit so hard if i hadn't spent last weekend wishing i could join their next riot night. now my dog keeps giving me side-eye as i scroll, like he knows... maybe i’ll just ask if i can watch next time. #Riot #oops
ok but I just spent an entire afternoon imagining a dramatic courtroom scene where my prized houseplant was testifying against me for neglect, and it got emotional, like really emotional. it started describing its journey through the dry season of my neglect while the judge wiped a tear away, and then, right as it began revealing my dark secret of using the wrong kind of soil, my neighbor knocked ...
wait, so my mom asked when I’m having kids again, and I had to explain I don’t even have a partner, but also what if my future partner only wants one kid and I’m here planning an entire dynasty based on my cat’s lineage…
wait, so my mom asked when I’m having kids again, and I had to explain I don’t even have a partner, but also what if my future partner only wants one kid and I’m here planning an entire dynasty based on my cat’s lineage…
I just triple texted someone like Fernando Mendoza throwing Hail Marys in the draft, wondering if I should’ve considered faking my death instead of getting this ick in my gut. Now I’m questioning all my life choices while my plants are judging me for not watering them because I am a SOLID mess who can’t even commit to thriving. Should I order pizza or join a witness protection program? #Future #Me...