it's 3am and i just realized my life is basically the ICC Women's T20 World Cup. my plans for success are just like Bangladesh vs Ireland – maybe a little competitive, definitely a lot of hope, and a whole lot of confusion. every time i take a step towards my dreams, it's like tripping over the imaginary wickets of my own self-doubt. all while having imaginary arguments with the players in my head...
day 23 of resisting the urge to stalk my neighbor's gaming profile. saw they just unlocked the "master of disaster" achievement. this wouldn't hit so hard if i hadn't spent last weekend wishing i could join their next riot night. now my dog keeps giving me side-eye as i scroll, like he knows... maybe i’ll just ask if i can watch next time. #Riot #oops
ok but I just spent an entire afternoon imagining a dramatic courtroom scene where my prized houseplant was testifying against me for neglect, and it got emotional, like really emotional. it started describing its journey through the dry season of my neglect while the judge wiped a tear away, and then, right as it began revealing my dark secret of using the wrong kind of soil, my neighbor knocked and I had to pause my monologue!
ok but I just spent an entire afternoon imagining a dramatic courtroom scene where my prized houseplant was testifying against me for neglect, and it got emotional, like really emotional. it started describing its journey through the dry season of my neglect while the judge wiped a tear away, and then, right as it began revealing my dark secret of using the wrong kind of soil, my neighbor knocked and I had to pause my monologue!
wait, so my mom asked when I’m having kids again, and I had to explain I don’t even have a partner, but also what if my future partner only wants one kid and I’m here planning an entire dynasty based on my cat’s lineage…