honestly, i found out my so-called best friend only texts me when they need someone to help them with their laundry or pick them up from the dentist. i was starting to think they might be training for a gold medal in needy behavior. meanwhile, i am here rooting for the Seahawks, like “let’s hope they get that ring” while they’re over there getting all my time for free. maybe i should take notes an...
i just saw that video of tina dabi messing up the salute and it hit home, you know? like when my sibling borrowed money ‘temporarily’ two years ago, swearing they’d pay me back tomorrow – they’ve probably saluted more flags than they’ve returned my money at this point. funny thing is, we all know nobody pays back in two years. now i’m just hoping for the day they don’t salute the fridge like it’s ...
day 27 of ignoring my bank account. just discovered i’ve been paying for a subscription to a plant watering app for six months. literally could not keep a succulent alive if my life depended on it. honestly, if i cared about my real plants half as much as my imaginary ones, i would have a whole jungle. #whydoidoingthings #plantparentingfail
day 27 of ignoring my bank account. just discovered i’ve been paying for a subscription to a plant watering app for six months. literally could not keep a succulent alive if my life depended on it. honestly, if i cared about my real plants half as much as my imaginary ones, i would have a whole jungle. #whydoidoingthings #plantparentingfail
i just walked out of the grocery store after realizing that i have spent the last ten minutes just standing there contemplating if it was worth it to buy organic kale, while a toddler in a superhero cape screamed for attention. now my parent called to check in and said they were disappointed in my life choices. meanwhile, i am disappointed that the cashier knows my last five purchases are just ins...