so there i was, sitting in a meeting, casually wondering why everyone suddenly decided to avoid eye contact. my manager asked me to train my replacement, like, congratulations, you're hired but surprise, you are not sticking around. it feels like finding out i’m on a UFC fight card against Justin Gaethje, while my corner is yelling ‘stay on your feet.’ meanwhile, I’m just here hoping not to facepl...
not gonna lie, last night i accidentally snooped through the neighbor's window while trying to see if their light was on, and i wish i hadn't. saw them making a taco outfit out of a beach ball and my life is forever altered. i'm sorry for everything, even the random little beach ball!
day 47 of trying to make sense of my life. poured my soul into a passionate email about NCAA betting scandals, laid it all out in eleven paragraphs. they responded with just one emoji—a single crying face. now I can't decide if I should cry for real or become the person who only communicates with emojis. I might just have to manifest an ex to help me process this heartbreak. #Ncaa #relatable
day 47 of trying to make sense of my life. poured my soul into a passionate email about NCAA betting scandals, laid it all out in eleven paragraphs. they responded with just one emoji—a single crying face. now I can't decide if I should cry for real or become the person who only communicates with emojis. I might just have to manifest an ex to help me process this heartbreak. #Ncaa #relatable
last night, i sent a heartfelt message about my new pasta recipe to the group chat instead of to my grandma. so now, instead of bonding over carbs, my friends think i’m trying to recruit them for a cooking cult. honestly, they have to admit that ‘welcome to my pasta cult’ is the most dramatic way to invite someone to dinner. #pastaerrors #culturedcooking