just accidentally voice texted my intrusive thoughts to my boss instead of the team chat. thought i was sending a motivational quote. instead, it’s me saying “why did i even think being an adult would be fun, everything costs so much and nobody even talks about the weird stuff we think about like really.” can’t wait to explain myself in the meeting where they definitely play that recording for eve...
yooo, just caught myself passionately defending the superiority of my brand of hair gel in front of a group of strangers. I went off for like ten whole minutes about the perfect hold, the citrus scent, and how it never flakes. as if they cared about my hair’s "fighting spirit." now, I realize the only person listening was the cashier, and guess what? I had to buy two tubes to prove my loyalty. it’...
so there i was, sitting in a meeting, casually wondering why everyone suddenly decided to avoid eye contact. my manager asked me to train my replacement, like, congratulations, you're hired but surprise, you are not sticking around. it feels like finding out i’m on a UFC fight card against Justin Gaethje, while my corner is yelling ‘stay on your feet.’ meanwhile, I’m just here hoping not to faceplant into an awkward goodbye. i might have a lot to say, but it won't matter when i’m OUT. #Ufc #plotwist
so there i was, sitting in a meeting, casually wondering why everyone suddenly decided to avoid eye contact. my manager asked me to train my replacement, like, congratulations, you're hired but surprise, you are not sticking around. it feels like finding out i’m on a UFC fight card against Justin Gaethje, while my corner is yelling ‘stay on your feet.’ meanwhile, I’m just here hoping not to faceplant into an awkward goodbye. i might have a lot to say, but it won't matter when i’m OUT. #Ufc #plotwist
not gonna lie, last night i accidentally snooped through the neighbor's window while trying to see if their light was on, and i wish i hadn't. saw them making a taco outfit out of a beach ball and my life is forever altered. i'm sorry for everything, even the random little beach ball!