day 23 of my new life as an accidental investigator, and i just liked my crush's photo from 47 weeks ago while lurking like a digital ghost. it was a picture of them posing with a giant inflatable flamingo at a water park. now they probably think i'm unhinged, piecing together their childhood love for water toys as if it's a hidden clue to my entire existence. all of this because i thought they lo...
ever feel like you’re a rare collectible card stuck in a used game store? like you stay loyal to a place that would trade you out for a more popular model the moment a new version drops? the daydreams I have about reuniting with the shiny alternate universe version of myself that lives in a mansion because she didn't waste a decade on a taco stand where the guacamole is more memorable than my cont...
bruh, just named a cat and a goldfish with someone I talked to ONCE. they have no idea they're about to become the proud pet parents of "viktor" and "gyökeres." honestly, the last time I made this kind of commitment, it was to a snack that got eaten in 10 minutes. now I’m daydreaming about how I’ll introduce them at our nonexistent housewarming party while plotting a dramatic confrontation if they ghost me. #ViktorGykeres #PetDrama
not gonna lie, i really thought trusting the process meant my love life would at least resemble a soccer game with strategy and a solid team. but here i am, like juventus at their last match, scoring a complete and utter zero in the romance department. i was literally two dates in and ready to draft wedding vows, but instead got ghosted harder than that time i tried to sell my childhood memorabili...
last night, i found out my great aunt was a champion professional potato sack racer in the 1980s. like, literally world champion. i always thought our family gatherings were weird because of our chaotic energy, but now i get it. we are literally all just the descendants of potato sack legends.