the way that I keep buying candles from that weird store on the corner—everyone says they smell like betrayal, but honestly, they just remind me of his cologne. no one warned me that obsessively collecting unburnt wax could become my new love language. so here I am—lighting one each week as if I'm performing some elaborate ritual to summon his ghost—hoping he shows up for dinner, or at least to co...
wait, so my toxic coworker just got promoted and now they are my boss? that’s rich. i always practiced telling them off in my head, and now i have to take orders like i'm part of their personal minion army. meanwhile, they probably think they’re as valuable as al-qadisiyah versus al-hilal. spoiler alert: nobody really cares, and deep down, we’re all just praying for the same fate as that underdog ...
not gonna lie, ever since that whole #NataliePortman thing went down, I've fully embraced the version of myself that bakes in a toxic workplace. it’s less “sparkly superhero” and more “wearing an apron while crying into a bowl of cookie dough.” I signed up for the baking competition at work to pretend I’m sweet and unproblematic, but really I’m just plotting to sabotage Linda’s double-chocolate fudge, which she definitely swiped from a Pinterest board. only question left is, do I have what it takes to be the kitchen’s reigning tyrant or am I destined to serve my own regrets as a side dish? #NataliePortman #BakingDrama
not gonna lie, ever since that whole #NataliePortman thing went down, I've fully embraced the version of myself that bakes in a toxic workplace. it’s less “sparkly superhero” and more “wearing an apron while crying into a bowl of cookie dough.” I signed up for the baking competition at work to pretend I’m sweet and unproblematic, but really I’m just plotting to sabotage Linda’s double-chocolate fudge, which she definitely swiped from a Pinterest board. only question left is, do I have what it takes to be the kitchen’s reigning tyrant or am I destined to serve my own regrets as a side dish? #NataliePortman #BakingDrama
it's not that i have a crush on my ceramic tea set. it's just that the way it holds warmth makes me feel more loved than my actual family does. i spent an hour drafting a message to my sister, asking if she could stop bringing over her sad houseplants that mock me with their thriving greenery. my tea set would definitely choose me over those succulents.