not gonna lie, just found out my private story got screenshotted by my ex’s friend. literally posted about my obsession with obscure soccer stats because, like, i thought it was safe space. now i'm questioning every little thing i said about rayo vallecano vs osasuna like they’re gonna turn it into evidence in my dating trial. this could ruin me. what do i do? #RayoVallecanoVsOsasuna #UnhingedObse...
argued with a complete stranger in an antique store about the significance of 18th-century teapots. afterwards, I sat on the floor contemplating how I could’ve included a fact about their lead paint while making a stellar exit. now I am not even sure if I respect teapots anymore.
last night i spent way too long trying to convince my pet rock that it missed me. i literally stared into its tiny eyes, expecting some deep conversation about abandonment issues, but i just looked ridiculous talking to a ROCK. like, are we okay? i thought it would literally care.
last night i spent way too long trying to convince my pet rock that it missed me. i literally stared into its tiny eyes, expecting some deep conversation about abandonment issues, but i just looked ridiculous talking to a ROCK. like, are we okay? i thought it would literally care.
the way that i just practiced my reaction to finding out that i am suddenly inheriting a mansion from a distant relative i did not even know existed, only for my friends to reveal it was a joke about their vacation plans is literally too much for me. i spent an hour imagining my extravagant lifestyle and planning garden parties with a pool shaped like a swan. now i need to reassess my friendship c...