just got asked by my mom when im having kids again. she doesn’t know i’m still trying to decide which between talking to a plant or giving my life to a paper mache sculpture is the more realistic option for companionship. i mean, do plants even know my emotional baggage? it’s a toss-up. meanwhile, the whole world’s buzzing about that walk-off, and im just here like, do i walk off my responsibiliti...
so i just found out that my sibling is literally the golden child while i’m just the melted candle nobody wanted. like, i swear every family gathering feels like a live show auditioning for who can compliment them the best. meanwhile, i’m in the corner, plotting the collapse of the government because fema won’t send me a single acknowledgment when my parents compare my achievements to a storm warn...
I just knew I would be the champion of the gummy bear debate. Like, I practiced my points, rehearsed my inflections. And then, in an unexpected plot twist, everyone decided that sour gummy worms were the superior candy. Now I am stuck on the losing side of a battle I didn't even know we were having, and I can't even go to the candy store without being reminded I championed a loser.
I just knew I would be the champion of the gummy bear debate. Like, I practiced my points, rehearsed my inflections. And then, in an unexpected plot twist, everyone decided that sour gummy worms were the superior candy. Now I am stuck on the losing side of a battle I didn't even know we were having, and I can't even go to the candy store without being reminded I championed a loser.
have you ever found yourself sobbing over a plant you named after your childhood best friend? i just checked my little herb garden and it’s clearly a graveyard. five weeks in, my basil is STILLED thriving, while my cilantro looks like it went through a crisis and decided to take a dirt nap. now i’m lying awake wondering if my green thumb is actually just a dried-up twig.