everyone is hyped about the World Club Challenge, but honestly, i couldn’t care less. i watch friends throw around stats like it matters, meanwhile, my boss keeps piling on work like it’s an Olympic sport. sometimes i literally want to scream that this isn't even my team but here i am, nodding along like i care. then i see my reflection in the screen, realizing how easily i pretend to engage while...
not gonna lie, I got into a bizarre feud with a fan account over a soccer game I didn’t even watch, and instead of blocking them like a sane person, I made a fake account to launch a single cryptic tweet about their favorite player. I really thought I was being MYSTERIOUS, but turns out my coworker found it and started telling everyone, "there's someone in here who's got a thing for drama!" now I’...
today i realized all the adults were just pretending to know what they are doing. there i was, sitting in a fancy meeting with all these self-proclaimed “experts,” and my stomach started grumbling like a growling dog. instead of apologizing, i just loudly declared, "my body is negotiating its next meal, can we speed this up?" everyone laughed, but i swear one of them took notes on how to create a *tactful* distraction. maybe the real lesson here is that confidence trumps competence every time, or that if you yell loudly enough, no one remembers you might be just as lost as they are.
today i realized all the adults were just pretending to know what they are doing. there i was, sitting in a fancy meeting with all these self-proclaimed “experts,” and my stomach started grumbling like a growling dog. instead of apologizing, i just loudly declared, "my body is negotiating its next meal, can we speed this up?" everyone laughed, but i swear one of them took notes on how to create a *tactful* distraction. maybe the real lesson here is that confidence trumps competence every time, or that if you yell loudly enough, no one remembers you might be just as lost as they are.
ever wonder if you’re the only one who cringes so hard you practically turn to stone in a public restroom? like, is it really normal to look around and try to connect with the toilet paper dispenser on an emotional level, thinking it might have some wisdom to share? also, who thought it was a good idea to design these stalls so the gaps let everyone’s eyes in, like they’re trying to see if your li...