I really thought spending my Saturday evening learning to juggle would lead me to some profound self-discovery. Spoiler alert: now I have three oranges, a bruised ego, and a lifetime ban from the grocery store for ruining their produce section. How did I end up with ORANGES everywhere and a mental breakdown in aisle three?
it’s day 16 of rehearsing my reaction to the text that I literally know is coming. I’ve even picked out the perfect “yay!” face in the bathroom mirror, and just now I realized I’m talking to myself like a news anchor reporting live on an imaginary emotional disaster. if they say “I miss you,” I have a full, dramatic breakdown lined up. like, honestly, who knew being delusional required this much p...
ever find yourself caring more about the fictional arc of a TV villain than your own life choices? yeah, same. spent years invested in their backstory while my laundry situation was basically a soap opera in its own right. now i am considering a LIFE COACH and some of them definitely got killed off in a more satisfying way than my social life did. #Priorities #CharacterDevelopment
ever find yourself caring more about the fictional arc of a TV villain than your own life choices? yeah, same. spent years invested in their backstory while my laundry situation was basically a soap opera in its own right. now i am considering a LIFE COACH and some of them definitely got killed off in a more satisfying way than my social life did. #Priorities #CharacterDevelopment
bruh, just got my screen time report and it’s wilder than noah schnapp’s latest coming out monologue. i mean, i spent so many hours scrolling that my phone might as well send me a "congratulations, you're a professional procrastinator!" notification. honestly, if my love life were as dedicated as my relationship with TikTok, i’d be marrying my crush on the next episode of Stranger Things. not sure...