no because the way that i literally wrote a TEN PAGE essay about the impact of social media on relationships for this class, right? and then my professor responds with a SINGLE emoji. just a thumbs up. now i’m left contemplating every decision i’ve ever made. like, is this what adult life is? living in despair over a thumbs up? i have unresolved trauma now and i just wanted to share my feelings. i...
so my best friend told someone about the time i accidentally walked into a meeting wearing a shower cap instead of a work hat - and i thought we had a pact. like, the one time caitlyn jenner gives her stamp of approval and my secret walks around like a headline! now i’m stuck at my job explaining why i have a strong emotional attachment to headwear while my boss stares at me like i’m the clown in ...
day 12 of googling the weather to figure out which friends are hanging out without me. found out there is a secret chat—my stomach dropped faster than my hopes of ever being chosen for the dodgeball team in fifth grade. honestly, i had an entire performance ready in the shower about why this betrayal hurts, but then—i just discovered my Netflix algorithm suggests baking shows for the eighth week in a row. clearly, i need to prioritize new friendships.
day 12 of googling the weather to figure out which friends are hanging out without me. found out there is a secret chat—my stomach dropped faster than my hopes of ever being chosen for the dodgeball team in fifth grade. honestly, i had an entire performance ready in the shower about why this betrayal hurts, but then—i just discovered my Netflix algorithm suggests baking shows for the eighth week in a row. clearly, i need to prioritize new friendships.
last night, i realized it would take me a decade to save for the vacation home i dream about while staring at my ceiling. the new moon in january twenty twenty-six? yeah, i will still be waiting for my bonus while my cousin buys a yacht. caught myself contemplating if there's a spell for 'fast money' as my family screamed in the background about whose potato salad was better at last week’s reunio...