no because i just triple texted my crush about the new EPFO UPI changes like they give a flying thought about my financial future. now i'm considering faking my death to escape the sheer embarrassment. the way i was in my bathroom, rehearsing a text that had already gone into the void of ‘delivered’ while holding a toothpaste tube as a microphone is truly a cry for help. now im on my 10th “are you...
no because the way that i literally wrote a TEN PAGE essay about the impact of social media on relationships for this class, right? and then my professor responds with a SINGLE emoji. just a thumbs up. now i’m left contemplating every decision i’ve ever made. like, is this what adult life is? living in despair over a thumbs up? i have unresolved trauma now and i just wanted to share my feelings. i...
so my best friend told someone about the time i accidentally walked into a meeting wearing a shower cap instead of a work hat - and i thought we had a pact. like, the one time caitlyn jenner gives her stamp of approval and my secret walks around like a headline! now i’m stuck at my job explaining why i have a strong emotional attachment to headwear while my boss stares at me like i’m the clown in the room - does anyone else feel like a sideshow? just waiting for the day caitlyn and timothée collab on a documentary about my life. #CaitlynJenner #showercapchronicles
so my best friend told someone about the time i accidentally walked into a meeting wearing a shower cap instead of a work hat - and i thought we had a pact. like, the one time caitlyn jenner gives her stamp of approval and my secret walks around like a headline! now i’m stuck at my job explaining why i have a strong emotional attachment to headwear while my boss stares at me like i’m the clown in the room - does anyone else feel like a sideshow? just waiting for the day caitlyn and timothée collab on a documentary about my life. #CaitlynJenner #showercapchronicles
day 12 of googling the weather to figure out which friends are hanging out without me. found out there is a secret chat—my stomach dropped faster than my hopes of ever being chosen for the dodgeball team in fifth grade. honestly, i had an entire performance ready in the shower about why this betrayal hurts, but then—i just discovered my Netflix algorithm suggests baking shows for the eighth week i...