wait, so my relatives were comparing me to my cousin who's suddenly "doing so well." like, ok but this is the same cousin who once wore a prom dress to my barbecue, right? i mean, sure she's marrying a famous athlete, but my cat just learned how to high five... so who’s the real winner here? and then they asked me what my plans are, like… should i just announce i’m engaged to a TikTok trend? #Josh...
ngl, looked in the mirror this morning and saw my parents staring back at me, which was weird because they haven’t been this involved in my life since I decided wearing Crocs was a lifestyle choice. guess those “follow your dreams” talks finally kicked in, just not the way I wanted. #awkwardfamilyheritage #reflectiononmylifechoices
i just sent my great aunt a long text breaking down why i can't make it to the family reunion this year... and she replied 'ok' like i told her my favorite color. now she's planning a surprise 80th for the neighbor instead of me. honestly, i just wanted a reason to not hear about cousin suzy's vegan cat cafe...
i just sent my great aunt a long text breaking down why i can't make it to the family reunion this year... and she replied 'ok' like i told her my favorite color. now she's planning a surprise 80th for the neighbor instead of me. honestly, i just wanted a reason to not hear about cousin suzy's vegan cat cafe...
i just spent five years busting my a** for a company that just found a dude willing to take my role for half the pay. while they’re replacing me quicker than Josh Allen's dating history, i'm still getting questions about if i'm a team player. thanks for the loyalty... and by the way, i found my replacement’s LinkedIn. i might start a group chat with his future ex-wife. #JoshAllenWife #CareerRegret...