it's December first and i just realized my spotify wrapped sounds like the diary of a person who's NEVER had a single social interaction. i have a playlist titled "crush playlist that never was" with three whole hours of sad ballads, and i’m still fully convinced that my crush will randomly listen to it one day and somehow fall in love with me. how delusional is that? just a girl building a fantas...
it's not that i don't want kids, it's just... my mom brought it up while we were fixing the broken toilet and i was holding a plunger like it was a scepter of singlehood. then she casually mentions how my cousin’s third child is already learning calculus. meanwhile, my biggest achievement is finding matching socks this week. guess i’ll just add "become a parent" to my to-do list right next to "loc...
i recently fell for someone who clearly stated they dont do relationships. so naturally, i spent an entire afternoon planning our wedding theme while googling personal injury attorneys, you know, in case i get heartbroken. now im convinced my heart could sue for damages. but wait, if their love life is the courtroom, should i be preparing for a long trial? #PersonalInjuryAttorney #courtroomdrama
i recently fell for someone who clearly stated they dont do relationships. so naturally, i spent an entire afternoon planning our wedding theme while googling personal injury attorneys, you know, in case i get heartbroken. now im convinced my heart could sue for damages. but wait, if their love life is the courtroom, should i be preparing for a long trial? #PersonalInjuryAttorney #courtroomdrama
if i had a nickel for every time my plants judged me for not watering them, i could afford therapy for all the emotions they have caused. like, you are the ones who survived a flood last year, what do you want from me? anyway, i just discovered that one of my succulents has a mysterious, dramatic relationship with a cactus that definitely doesn’t exist. now i am conflicted about if i should interv...