bruh, saw the news about the snl cast not producing a superstar in a while. reminded me of that time i practiced my stand-up routine in the bathroom mirror, using my shampoo bottle as a microphone, and i bombed so hard that my own reflection left the room. honestly, every time i think about it, my dignity does a backflip and hits the bathroom floor. here i am, pondering if i’ll ever have my moment...
i just found out my roommate is secretly engaged to their high school sweetheart. i thought we were building a life together and planned our post-apocalyptic survival scenario if the world ended. now, i am single and living in a bunker with a fridge full of pickles, questioning all my life choices as the stock market takes a dive. talk about emotional rollercoasters and no one to hold my hand. #Ni...
not gonna lie, I declined a pottery class because I literally have no idea how to explain that my bank account is currently living its best invisibility act. instead, I told them I’m really "focusing on my artistic vision" which apparently means binge-watching home improvement shows and judging the lighting in my room like a *real* critic.
not gonna lie, I declined a pottery class because I literally have no idea how to explain that my bank account is currently living its best invisibility act. instead, I told them I’m really "focusing on my artistic vision" which apparently means binge-watching home improvement shows and judging the lighting in my room like a *real* critic.
so i found out my partner has been texting someone else, and now i can’t even get excited about my new hobby of collecting miniature spoons. that’s right, my tiny spoon empire is in shambles while my love life crumbles like a stale cookie. what’s next, they’re going to start texting my grandma about her jelly-making recipes too? #lifeisweird #spoonproblems