day 7 of collecting vintage spoons for my new aesthetic—only to find out the whole time i’ve been using them to stir my ice cream and now i am the proud owner of one hundred spoons that also function as my self-esteem in this chaotic universe—artistic? yes. practical? absolutely not. #spoonlife #aestheticgoals
ok but I just poured my heart into a twenty-page manifesto about the emotional impact of blue hedgehogs on our collective childhood, and they responded with a single eggplant emoji. like, what am I supposed to do with that? does this mean they are confused, impressed, or suddenly want to start a vegetable garden?
ever accidentally liked a post about knitting from the 19 seventies while stalking someone's grandma's hobby blog? it was a simple scroll, but then it happened. the red heart lit up like a beacon. now i am left sweating and strategizing my escape plan, contemplating whether to offer a heartfelt apology to a stranger who probably has more needles than i have friends. will i become the infamous knitter of shame, or will i risk it all and leave it be?
ever accidentally liked a post about knitting from the 19 seventies while stalking someone's grandma's hobby blog? it was a simple scroll, but then it happened. the red heart lit up like a beacon. now i am left sweating and strategizing my escape plan, contemplating whether to offer a heartfelt apology to a stranger who probably has more needles than i have friends. will i become the infamous knitter of shame, or will i risk it all and leave it be?
it's 2am and i just found out my neighbor's ferret has more followers on social media than i do. like, i'm sitting here trying to get my book published while this tiny furball is casually vibing with a thousand people. it’s not even the celebrity life i imagined—just a ferret named "fluffy nugget" living its best life. i'm thinking about starting a GoFundMe for my future successful author dreams b...