just spent three hours refreshing my phone waiting for someone to text back, like a dog waiting for a bone, and now i'm here thinking about how no one told me life would be mostly just me staring at a screen, wondering why they prefer reading the news over actually talking to me.
so my fridge is basically a science experiment now, i opened it and found a tupperware with a weird green thing that might have been spaghetti two months ago but now it looks like it’s auditioning for a horror movie and the smell hit me like an expired hotdog at a carnival, and i'm just sitting here like is this the beginning of my new personality? becoming that person who embraces culinary disast...
so my mom thinks she's dating a prince but he drives a rusty old van with a sticker of a cat wearing a crown and now she’s about to sign away her 401k to finance his "adventures" and I have to sit here like a witness to a tragic comedy where I keep getting up to get popcorn but the show never ends
so my mom thinks she's dating a prince but he drives a rusty old van with a sticker of a cat wearing a crown and now she’s about to sign away her 401k to finance his "adventures" and I have to sit here like a witness to a tragic comedy where I keep getting up to get popcorn but the show never ends
so i went to the DMV to get a new license and ended up in a three-hour existential crisis where i stared at a guy who kept making balloon animals for himself and when i finally got to the counter they told me my documents were not the right shade of off-white and i was like wow, even my paperwork has to be more presentable than me, cool.