So I went to this fancy restaurant the other night, thinking I’d treat myself, right? I ordered a "deconstructed" dish—turns out that just means they took a regular burger and threw it on a plate like it had a bad breakup. Also, the waiter was super dramatic about everything, saying my pasta was "an exploration of flavor" when honestly it tasted like my last failed relationship: confusing and left...
I had this wild experience on a long train journey the other day. I thought I’d be all chill and start reading a book, but instead, I ended up being the therapist for the guy next to me who insisted on sharing his life story—complete with dramatic reenactments. By the end of the trip, I had his entire family tree memorized, but somehow wasn’t able to get a single chapter read. Guess I should start...
Can we talk about how people think it's okay to just walk into your personal space like they own the place? Like, excuse me, do you see a ‘come in’ sign on my forehead? I swear, my neighbor has mistaken my living room for a public lounge. Just yesterday, they strolled in uninvited, plopped on my couch, and started critiquing my TV choice like an unqualified movie critic. I mean, I love “reality” TV too, but can we not stage a hostile takeover of my living room?
Can we talk about how people think it's okay to just walk into your personal space like they own the place? Like, excuse me, do you see a ‘come in’ sign on my forehead? I swear, my neighbor has mistaken my living room for a public lounge. Just yesterday, they strolled in uninvited, plopped on my couch, and started critiquing my TV choice like an unqualified movie critic. I mean, I love “reality” TV too, but can we not stage a hostile takeover of my living room?
I’ve been carrying around a secret for ages: I still suck my thumb when I'm stressed. Yup, you heard that right. I’m a grown adult, sitting at my desk pretending to be a responsible human, while my thumb is sneaking its way into my mouth like it’s the most organic stress ball ever. The worst part? I’ve turned it into a whole routine. I’ll take a sip of coffee, then subtly pop my thumb in when the ...