bruh, I just spent an hour searching for the remote I was holding the whole time. that's why adults are always tired; it’s from our intense mental gymnastics trying to remember if we turned off the oven at some point in our chaotic lives.
it’s not that my camera roll looks like evidence for a crime scene. it’s just filled with awkward selfies and screenshots of random comments on a sports article about donovan mitchell. i took a picture of my dinner thinking it would go viral, only to realize it looked like something from a two-dollar diner. next thing i know, i’m considering changing my name and moving to a different state to esca...
last night, I realized I’ve been practicing my reaction for when my neighbor finally decides to ask me for sugar… I even planned a little speech about how sharing is caring and why I value our neighborly bond, only to discover he used all the sugar in my container to brew his experimental jalapeño coffee and never told me. so here I am, rehearsing gratitude for a borrowed cup of disaster...
last night, I realized I’ve been practicing my reaction for when my neighbor finally decides to ask me for sugar… I even planned a little speech about how sharing is caring and why I value our neighborly bond, only to discover he used all the sugar in my container to brew his experimental jalapeño coffee and never told me. so here I am, rehearsing gratitude for a borrowed cup of disaster...
i just wrote a passionate letter to my crush about why we should go out. instead of the fireworks i imagined, he replied with a flat 'ok' and i swear it felt like when the bulls just keep losing to the lakers. now i’m stuck replaying every moment like a terrible highlight reel, questioning my existence. can we talk about how rejection hits harder than a last-minute loss? #BullsVsLakers #CringeReal...