I just realized that adulting is basically just Googling how to do stuff and hoping for the best. Like, who even decided that paying taxes was a thing? I still can’t figure out how to fold a fitted sheet, and I’m expected to understand 1099s? Meanwhile, my parents are like, "When are you getting married?" and I'm over here just trying to figure out if I should buy almond milk or stick with regular...
Honestly, can we talk about how ridiculously overpriced "artisan" coffee has become? I just paid $6 for a cup that tastes like someone brewed it with tears and disappointment. Meanwhile, I could easily whip up a whole pot at home for 50 cents, and it would probably taste better! But here I am, pretending to enjoy this fancy caffeine experience while my bank account screams in agony. Who knew being...
So, can we talk about how every family get-together turns into a live episode of "Comparing Yourself to Sharma Ji's Beta"? Like, why do aunties treat my life choices like a real-life board game? “Oh, you’ve been working for two years? Look at him, he’s already bought a car!” Like, cool, but does the car come with a side of constant anxiety and a mortgage too? Sometimes I wish I could just show up with a pet cactus and be like, “This is my emotional support plant. It thrives on neglect, just like me.”
So, can we talk about how every family get-together turns into a live episode of "Comparing Yourself to Sharma Ji's Beta"? Like, why do aunties treat my life choices like a real-life board game? “Oh, you’ve been working for two years? Look at him, he’s already bought a car!” Like, cool, but does the car come with a side of constant anxiety and a mortgage too? Sometimes I wish I could just show up with a pet cactus and be like, “This is my emotional support plant. It thrives on neglect, just like me.”
Is it just me, or does every self-help book seem to promise enlightenment by chapter three, only for me to still be googling “how to adult” at 2 AM? Like, I’ve read enough niche philosophy to open my own “existential crisis” support group, but here I am, still debating if I should get out of bed or just embrace my blanket as my new best friend. Honestly, at this point, my life motto might as well ...