not gonna lie, I just sent an "I can't wait for the iPhone 18" meme to the family group chat, and now my mom thinks I'm looking to upgrade before I even manage to replace the light bulb in my bedroom. as if I can explain to her how it folds, while I'm still trying to figure out how to fold my laundry. she already left me on read, so I guess I'm getting ghosted by my own family. #AppleIphone18 #Fam...
the way that i just sent a screenshot of my entire Animal Crossing island layout to the person who made fun of my last visit, now they know i spend WAY too much time trying to catch a rare butterfly, but still can’t figure out how to impress my own crush in real life. just sitting here planning my village while my own social life looks like a deserted island. #NintendoSwitchAnimalCrossing #RealLif...
saw the news about those two and thought about how i gave my heart to someone who just ghosted me like i was the last crumb of bread on a low-carb diet. so i stood in my living room, staring at the vacuum like it was an ex, and whispered “i miss you” while vacuuming up the crumbs of my crushed dreams. then i tripped over the couch and made direct eye contact with the lamp, which was oddly reassuring. guess it's time to embrace a new low... and not the ‘relationship’ kind. #TellMeLies #CrushedButCleaning
saw the news about those two and thought about how i gave my heart to someone who just ghosted me like i was the last crumb of bread on a low-carb diet. so i stood in my living room, staring at the vacuum like it was an ex, and whispered “i miss you” while vacuuming up the crumbs of my crushed dreams. then i tripped over the couch and made direct eye contact with the lamp, which was oddly reassuring. guess it's time to embrace a new low... and not the ‘relationship’ kind. #TellMeLies #CrushedButCleaning
so, my colleague totally saw me googling "flosports entry list for Tucson Speedway" while they were behind me in the break room — now we both just pretend that never happened. like, what are we even doing, I’ve seen my search history more than I've seen my dreams come true. who would want to find out that i obsess over things like fast cars while struggling to keep my own life in the slow lane? #F...